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"Dude. You're getting a little preachy lately aren't you?" - me
"I don't know what you're talking about, this is all really important stuff!" - also me
Ok then,
Let's give the people something a little more ... strategic, a little more tactical.
Behold
THE WHAT - WHY ... uh ... THINGY ... that uh ... HELPS YOU GET UNSTUCK ... ERATOR
"...Erator?" - me
"Well ... I felt like, if we want it to sound like a "thing" people use, it needs to have '-erator' on the end of it or something like that" - also me
"Considering your difficulty with words today, let's make sure the people know what the hell we're talking about" - me
"Great idea. What does it all mean!" - also me
What is What?
The Why and The What is a perspective for me emerged out of my experiencing with Lukas Resheske's Clarity Hierarchy.1
We've talked about this before in "From Form to Function" - where I used that Hierarchy to explore detangling yourself from the Form of what you are doing to reconsider the Function.
This is similar.
In the context of The Hierarchy, "What" is all the things you do - the strategies, tactics, and tools - to apply your "Why" - your principles and philosophies.
So,
What is stuff you do. It's working as a wildland firefighter2. It's raising children. It's writing. It's riding a bike. It's lifting weights.
What is the way you do things. It's road biking vs mountain biking. It's bench press vs isolated barbell press. It's publishing long form articles vs short form vs video.
What is the things you use. It's the bike itself. The weights and the gym. The pen, the keyboard, the phone.
What is tangible. It's visible. It's trackable.
The "tricks and tips" are all What you do.
Many people really love What because there's a lot of certainty in What.
They have a job, it's defined, and they don't have to think too much outside of that. The "go to the gym 3 times a week and do these sets of exercises" is clear and certain. The "bike an hour a day" is defined, clear, and certain.
What is Why?
You can probably guess where this part is going.
Because Why is inherently uncertain.
It's internally defined.
There are components to Why which CAN be certain and that helps. But ultimately Why is something YOU must define for yourself.
Why is the principles and philosophies behind your choices and actions.
We bought a house because we wanted our children to have a place they could grow up in and call their home. Because we believe "home" is powerful and one of the best things we can do for our children as they grow up. We believe we also deserve a home. And of course there are financial and security considerations (principles dipping into strategies) in buying a home.
Buying the home is "What." The things that drove our decision to buy the home in the first place are Why.
Why is defined by your own beliefs and reality.
Asking yourself "why" until you can no longer dig deeper is an effective way to start digging this stuff up.
"Hey. Lets give the fine people an example?" - me
"Alright ... do you want to sta-" - also me
"Why did you go into business?" - me, interrupting
"A bit *rude* but I'll bite. Because I wanted freedom to work whenever I want to work." - also me
"Why do you want freedom to work whenever you want to work?" - me
"Because I feel like the best parts of life are experienced NOT in the rigidly defined necessity of making money in order to live?" - also me
"Why do you believe that?" - me
"Shouldn't you know the answer to this? we're the same person" - also me
"No dummy, that's the whole point" - me
"I think they get the picture. Let's move on" - also me
Why is Why?
"What is this? Why is why?" - me
"uh ... seemed like the whole thing should be balanced out, don't you think?" - also me
"Well by that logic you also need Why is What?" - me
"ok then" - also me
I look at you ... I look at the page ... I look at you... I look at the page .... I look at myself ...
"nevermind" - me
Stuck in Why
I think it's easier for me to talk about getting stuck in "why," because that's often where I get stuck, if I am going to get stuck somewhere.
My inclination is toward working in this space. Why I do what I do. And in Why I include all aspects of deeper meaning which connect with my purpose - insofar as I can tell what that means.
I have a wife and 4 kids who take priority in my life. I build everything around all the meaning significance and details surrounding my family. Every choice I make, I take this significant thing, and all the surrounding desires and goals we have, into account.
Here's the thing,
If you think about it (heh), a lot of being in 'Why' is really thinking about what you may or may not do.
Unless you just don't think about what you're gonna do.
But then ...
People who give no thought to their actions rarely have problem taking action, they just take the action.
Anyway,
We're not interested in thoughtless action! We want action with meaning. We want the life we really desire, we want to live our fullest potential, a life of meaning and purpose.
So we think deeply about why we are doing what we are doing. And when we consider our next action we think about why.
But,
We can also get stuck here. We can keep thinking about why. We can keep thinking "well what if I do this?" and then "Yea but what if I do that?"
Why is a really enjoyable place to be. Because Why is filled with all the things we care about. It's filled with our morals. It's filled with our sense of justice, our sense of the way things should be in the world.
I remember years ago, as I was beginning my journey into entrepreneurship, running across Simon Sinek's "Start with Why."
It resonated.
“Shocking detail” - me
“Thanks. Now shut up and let me talk” - also me
I had gotten into this "entrepreneurial" journey out of a desperate ploy to do something meaningful with my life. I didn't even want to be an entrepreneur. I didn't even know that was possible when I started.
I just felt like things should be a certain way and they were not. I believed I had better things to do with my life than spend the time sitting in a cubicle, or seeing to someone else's desires whims and vision.
Why felt like a place I could go to get away from What I was doing. I was stuck in offices. I was stuck doing things I was kind of interested in but not really. I was stuck in obligation. I was stuck in the "fabric" of modern society where I had to have a 9-5 so I could make a paycheck so I could keep going to my 9-5.
Why was different. Why was digging deeper. Why was revealing options and doors. Why was saying ... yea you're doing this, but here's what you really care about. Why revealed the things in the work I WAS doing which brought me to where I had been.
But it also revealed all the things I was doing which I didn't want, which didn't feel right, which weren't right.
And I sat in Why for a long time. Because I didn't have or couldn't see a way to connect the why I felt to some kind of purpose, some kind of action, some kind of thing to do.
In the words I'd use NOW to explain it, I'd simply say that I had Philosophies and Principles, but I couldn't see or understand how to apply them to strategies tactics and tools. Or perhaps more likely accurately, I didn't believe I could do that.
I had ideas. So many ideas. I'd day dream. "What if this could be true."
I needed an outside catalyst to push me to the point where "enough was enough" and I realized the only way things could be the way I deeply wished them to be, even if I didn't understand what all that meant, was if I made them happen.
And then I entered What.
One does not always get stuck in Why at the beginning. When we lack knowledge, understanding, perspective, experience I think it's very easy to get stuck in why, or, get stuck in what. Because in some ways though I was stuck in Why, thinking about what I wished could be, what I believed in, I was also stuck in What, because I had security, a job, a thing I was "supposed to be doing."
More on that in a moment.
We can also get stuck in Why in the middle of it all.
Long past the point where we've started down a path of doing things, if we ever come to a junction where we aren't sure of the next step, we can step back to WHY to make sure we are in the right place and we are going in the right direction ...
We can slow down and recollect our Clarity. Make sure we know where we are and where we want to go. And to gather Certainty, to make sure that we're certain the path we are going to step on is taking us where we want to go.
But then ...
But then we must take the action.
As soon as you have the action in your mind to take the longer you DON'T take that action the longer you sit in why and prevent yourself from revealing the step after the next step you are thinking so much about.
And again, more on that in a moment.
Stuck in What
Because being stuck in What is just as problematic as being stuck in Why.
Being stuck in What is to be stuck in the doing. In the act. In the Implementation.
Sometimes we get stuck there out of necessity. Out of survival. We end up with so many things on our plate that we are constantly doing and doing and doing, and we end up feeling like life is just so overwhelmingly full, that there's never a break, and that we are just going to deal with one thing after the other after the other from now until the end of time.
And In those situations it's hard. It's hard to step out of What for a moment.
Sometimes we get stuck in What out of fear. We perhaps don't realize that it is fear. But being in What gives a lot of security. Because now you are doing things!
You're not just sitting there thinking and dreaming and hoping and asking "well what if I design a hat made out of rocks" you're actually WEARING a hat made out of rocks, and you're walking around wearing a hat made out of rocks! That's amazing!
But.
The thing about figuring stuff out, the thing about growing, the thing about determining the next best step and the next best step and making sure that the path we're on is the certain path to get us where we want to to make sure we are sure we know where we want to go ...
Is that if we stay in What, we can't continue to answer those questions.
If you make a hat out of rocks and you wear that hat because you thought "I think it would be awesome if someone sold hats made out of rocks," and now you are doing the thing ... but then you keep making hats out of rocks ...
You try different rocks. Different types of rocks, different cuts of rocks, different end treatments of rocks. Maybe some are chiseled, maybe some are polished, maybe some are from the sea, some are from the mountains.
You keep making hats
and you keep gather rocks,
and you keep trying out all the different details of all the different rocks ...
But you neglected to realize that wearing a hat made out of rocks f*%king HURTS. And YOU don't even want to wear a hat made out of rocks now that you've made it.
Because you didn't slow down.
You didn't step out of What you were doing to revisit Why.
You took a step to answer "what if," by diving into the What but you kept going.
"Hey, gonna interrupt here again" - me - "isn't that a bit of a ridiculous example? No one is gonna make a hat out of rocks."
"Ok smart guy. You think no one reading this has EVER made a decision to take an action in their life which ultimately ended up being painful and then they kept taking that action over and over again even though it continued to hurt and suck, because they wanted the certainty of the action to be correct and they didn't want to question what they were doing again?" - also me
" ... " - me
![Silence spell card [MEME] | Memes Universe](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!q9hD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F024b1136-6884-4ea6-be99-509cc36f5ba6_640x735.jpeg "Silence spell card [MEME] | Memes Universe")
How many of us have made hats out of rocks for far too long before finally acknowledging that yes, the hats made out of rocks really suck and I don't actually want to be doing this?
It's certainty
It all hinges on certainty
"People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty" - Virginia Satir
"Heh we should have shirts made with that quote" - also me
"FOCUS DAMMIT" - me
When we're stuck in why, in thinking about what we want or may want to do, we want to be certain that the thing we do is going to be the right thing, that it is really going to be what we believe, that is going to align with our philosophies and principles and that it is going to lead us to the life we want.
When we get stuck in what, in focusing on the doing so much that we lose track of everything else, we HAVE certainty. Certainty of the action we are taking. Certainty that, because we've been doing it and everything is ok, everything will keep being ok. It's scary to stop doing and start asking ourselves why the hell we're doing the thing.
But also, if we have to stop to think about Why, what if we can't start again? What if we lose all that What that we have going?
Uncertainty.
The harsh truth is that you'll never have complete and total certainty
You just want to be certain enough that the next step you take is going to get you closer to what you want, even if the step after that ends up being completely different, because you know this first step will reveal the completely different step you can't even see now.
And THAT is why ...
Traversing the Boundary
It is so important to consistently traverse the boundary between The Why and The What
That's what it really is, isn't it.
Between What and Why is a boundary we must cross. A boundary which changes all dynamics. A boundary which stops and ends things.
Every time we do WHAT, it reveals an opportunity to revisit, reknow, rediscover, reunderstand WHY, and everytime we consider WHY, it is an opportunity to reveal truths about the path we are walking that inform the next best step we can take.
That's learning.3
The oscillation between "here's an idea", "doing the idea", "what happened with doing that idea", and revisiting.
That's The Pendulum.4
Swinging between being in Implementation and being in Receivership.
That's microstepping your way forward.5
Taking the smallest steps you can to gather enough information to inform your decisions as you carve out your path, finding each next best step along the way.
That's Raising the Floor.6
Focusing not on doing always the absolute best thing you can possibly do, but systematically removing all that which is not the right thing for you, and the revisiting each time the floor is raised to ask why.
How to Navigate This
Write about the WHAT that you do. And then write about the WHY in your life that makes you excited.
I have a cheatcode for this because everytime I write I am doing this in some variation or another. I get to move forward on my paths with What in a way that is a forcing function to revisiting the Why and visa versa. Every time I write about why it gives me ideas for What. Every time I put those What ideas into action it gives me ideas about why.
I am in constant motion taking new ideas and engaging the field with those ideas and then observing the results of that engagement and seeing what next step to take.
It wasn't always that way. I must still be vigilant.
Because it's all to easy to get stuck in What you are doing. As soon as you determine a What that sounds perfect, sounds like it's exactly what you want to be doing, sounds like it's going to get you everything you want in life ...
I think that's when the danger starts to creep in.
Because when you feel certain about the actions you are taking, you are far less likely to step back into the uncertainty of questioning why you are doing it.
And what if you are stuck in one or the other?
Stuck in What?
This can be an easy one. But it can also be really hard because it all sits on your shoulders.
Slow down.
Ask yourself ... why?
Why do I do this? Why is this important? Why do I care? Why why why all the way down until you can't ask why anymore.
We've had variations on this exercise in The Solvable Problem for Life7 and From Form to Function: Thinking Your Way to Clarity.8
Stuck in Why?
Usually there's a question "well, what if ..."
The answer is simple. DO THE THING.
What if I decide to live ever day with a marmoset on my shoulder? I don't know man. But if that sounds like something that would be interesting to you, THEN DO IT. See what happens. Maybe you discover after 13 minutes it tries to claw your ears off and escape out the window.
Then you have your answer.
But it has to be YOUR answer. It has to be YOUR reality.
If you ask ME if you should live every day with a marmoset on your shoulder, I'm gonna be like "dude are you f#$@ing insane? what the hell?" But you might be a secret marmoset whisperer with the ability to train them to do all of your bidding and it turns out when YOU live every day with the marmoset on your shoulder, you're able to have the perfect minion by your side and now you never lose your keys.
Only you can know.
Because only your reality matters.
Which is WHY (hur hur hur) it's so important to take whatever we find in "Why" and apply it to "What."
Do the thing with it. Find out what happens.
That's the point of The Arena.9 To help you take that step into action doing the thing, and then traverse back into questioning it.
Because "what if" is meaningless.
What matters is your reality and your experience with that reality.
Because we KNOW that one of the most important things to getting the life you want, to living your full potential and a life of meaning and purpose is for you to smoothly, consistently, reliably traverse the boundary between Why and What, to uncover your personal reality and the truth of the best path for yourself.
"What the hell man, I thought we weren't going to get preachy?" -- me
"You said YOU weren't going to get preachy. I didn't agree to that!" -- also me
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Learning
The Pendulum
Microstepping
Raising the Floor
The Solvable Problem for Life
From Form to Function
The Arena