To Live a Beautiful Life

Level 42: Life The Universe and Everything

I walked onto the plane after the long weekend.

It was late.

I'd been awake almost 16 hours already and I still had at least 5 to go.

I found my seat on the aisle, stowed my bags, and sat down, waiting for someone to come take the one next to me.

I closed my eyes,

Remembering the desert. The calm shush of the wind over red rock and through the cactus. Warm crisp air.

I let myself wander the hills there in my thoughts.

"Oh excuse me, that's me."

A shorter older woman with shimmering silver curls, and a suitcase to match, calmly smiles, pointing to the middle seat.

I stand up,

And offer to help her get her suitcase into the overhead bin.

"Oh thank you. But I've got it just fine."

She stowed the bag with ease.

"I'm a nurse," she pauses as she shimmies over into her seat, "so... I'm quite used to lifting heavy things."

"Oh! My wife is a nurse." I toss the thought out without hesitation and immediately mentally smack myself.

You're going for common ground ...

Remember what we talked about.

Try again.

I take a breath, slow down and collect my thoughts.

I think about letting it go.

We're just strangers on a plane. We're probably gonna just stare ahead at the seat in front of us, deal with the discomfort of the trip, get to our destination and then be on our way.

But.

It's worth reaching out.

No matter how much I just want to let my introverted tendencies to take over ... that would be me hiding.

Instead I turn to her,

"What do you love about being a nurse?"

She glances at me sideways, with a short polite smile, "helping people."

I nod.

She continues to look at me, as if wondering what I'm after.

"I get to help people, and I do it in a correctional facility."

My eyebrows raise out of honest surprised curiosity.

“A correctional facility” I say

"Yea ... most nurses don't want to do this work. But I really enjoy it. The people there are really respectful. They may have done some bad things, but they are not bad people."

I nod "Interesting lesson in life there."

She nods.

We turn back towards ourselves. Settling into our seats. Fiddling with the belts. Adjusting our items in the seats in front of us.

People coming onto the plane continue to brush by me.

There's a low hum of conversations here and there in the background.

I was kicking myself about the common ground bit. She didn't really seem to want to talk about being a nurse, so I didn't press. Probably she felt like I was just going to tell her everything I thought about her profession because I know someone else who does something similar.

I didn't pry further.

After a few minutes,

She suddenly leans towards me …

"You know it's funny

I'm a nurse, my sister is a doctor, and our youngest brother just died in a motorcycle accident. He was only 34."

We sit with that for a moment.

"He lived in Arizona. Neither of us could be there .... neither of us could be there ..."

The sudden realization that this person next to me is awash in deep loss and regret and pain feeling like she failed her brother and there's nothing to be done for that now.

I waited for a few moments before expressing my sympathies and we sat in silence, the low bustle of people boarding the plane filling the gap.

What do you say to that?

This person just tore open a huge wound to a stranger (me).

Maybe she was hoping to just have an ear. Maybe hoping for absolution. Maybe just a little bit of connection in the sea of loss she was experiencing.

I don't know.

But as we sat, I couldn't leave the feeling that she opened up like that to ME because she needed something more ...

She trusted me with this vulnerability.

I took a breath, and stepped into that responsibility.

"If you don't mind me asking ... and please feel free to tell me if this is too much ... what did your brother love to do?"

She turned to me as I spoke,

and a HUGE grin cracked across her face

"To RIDE"

For the next ... I don't know how long ... we had a deep conversation about her brother, parenting, children (she has grandchildren close to the ages of my younger kids), and living a good life.

Something that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't opened the door ...

And demonstrated I was someone she could trust to care.

I didn't do it for that reason.

(That whole "what do you love about ---", instead of stating something "valid" and related in order to find common ground, is something we learned this last weekend at Gray Wolf Summit.)

I said it because I too wanted the connection.

To at least see who this person was.

Despite my introversion I value meaningful connection deeply.

And because we had that moment in time, that opportunity to connect and learn ... even if just a few words, just a few moments, we'd be able to share something that makes us uniquely human.

And what better way to live?

Some of the greatest things we get out of The Guardian Academy are not really about making more money, being "successful," "winning," etc.

They are the little things that allow us to connect.

To be more human.

To help heal the suffering of others.

I am thankful for TGA and all the people who make up our unique little community.

We occasionally get the opportunity to connect in person and that is immeasurably valuable and special. Events like Gray Wolf Summit can be transformative if you go into them free of expectation and a willingness to step forward into being.

On the last day,

Some of us went up to The Mountain. A place out in the Arizona desert hills, mostly disconnected from modern life, amongst the red rock, the cactus, the warm but crisp air, and the silence between the breaths of wind.

We took the opportunity to settle our thoughts from the weekend. We stood around a fire. We talked about the most important things in life and just were present with each other.

I had a particular conversation that was powerful for me (a few honestly, but one I'll mention here).

In the dim light of dusk with the fire crackling I received a clarity of understanding about myself I had not fully accepted (thank you Ellen).

I am not driven to find "exponential growth" in the sense of entrepreneurialism and business. I know how to do this. I've helped other people do this. I actually enjoy helping other people do this (if they are the right people and it's the right work - because I enjoy helping the people I care about succeed in their goals).

But that idea is not what drives me.

I don't get out of bed to chase after millions and millions of dollars. To chase after fame or fortune. To chase after building a big growing business of my own.

What drives me is a desire to live a beautiful life.

And,

In all my life I've not found a better place and group of people to do that with.

There are plenty of people in The Guardian Academy who are there for the success and the money and the growth and certain path towards it all.

And that is also great.

If you are driven by a desire for exponential growth, great success in business and your endeavors - you're in the best place. We have all the most remarkable people, talent, intellect, insight, wisdom, connection, and experience for that in the world here in this group.

No one does things quite like us - where we work to become it over knowing it.

Where our foundational pillars are about ending suffering, being better humans, knowing ourselves, and through that finding all the success/money/wealth/fame/etc that we desire.

At the same time,

If you are driven to simply live a beautiful life - you are also in the best place. Because it is those fundamentals underneath all of it which are important no matter what. Whether you want to make a billion dollars or you just want to be happy, The Guardian Academy represents a path to a way of living and being that is the best foundation for a beautiful life.

In my humble opinion.

Perhaps dear reader if you feel drawn towards this group, you'll join us in person one of these days. We would be most delighted to see you there.

Be Useful. Be Present. Love the Journey.

Joseph Robertson, CMO The Guardian Academy

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