I want to write.
But, I look at the page. I look at the page and there's nothing there.
I look at the page, there's nothing there, and I feel like there should be. I can almost feel what it should be.
Almost see what the words are.
But I can't make the words happen.
I want to do something else.
Where's my phone?
It's time to go to the gym.
Ugh.
I better do it.
I better get going.
Look at me ... sitting on my butt ... getting going to the gym.
I don't even know where my gym clothes are.
I probably don't have the time.
I should do something more productive.
What am I going to do at the gym anyway? Squats?
Hmm,
I wonder if I had lifting shoes if that would go better.
Let me see how much those are ...
Sometimes,
Problems where you can't seem to focus on what you really want or what really matters look like dopamine problems.
Problems when you're trying to do something new, something different. Instil a new habit. Change something about your life. Create something new.
I can distract myself on the phone instead of writing.
I can search for lifting shoes instead of going to the actual gym and lifting weights in what I have.
And I might look at this and think,
"I need to not succumb to easy dopamine."
But there's another force at work. It is sinister perhaps. But it is not evil. It comes from a part of us that doesn't want to see us hurt. Doesn't want to see us change.
It's an old part.
And unfortunately in order to become the best versions of ourselves,
We HAVE to change.
We HAVE to risk hurting ourselves.
This isn't a Dopamine problem1 ... although succumbing to easy Dopamine is a delectable feast this force likes to dangle in front of us.
The Force We All Face
I first encountered this mysterious force, this demon, this dragon, this villain, long long ago. Almost certainly before memory.
But
I first learned its name through one Steven Pressfield2. Known for works such as The War of Art, Turning Pro, Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh#t.
Resistance
It is ... for lack of a better phrase ... "the thing we all face."
Pressfield writes as a writer to other writers. To artists. To visionaries. To creatives. To anyone who is sitting down to do the work to MAKE SOMETHING.
Because no matter who you are, how good you are at what you do, how well you know yourself, you'll ALWAYS encounter this mysterious, frustrating, annoying force which seems to constantly work AGAINST you doing what you want and need to do.
Resistance.
It never shows up the same.
As a writer, it shows up like writers block. It shows up like uncertainty. It shows up like distraction. It shows up like a little carrot dangle of dopamine in a different direction. It shows up like fear.
Am I writing the right thing?
Is anyone going to like what I write?
Is this going to be too long?
Is this going to be too short?
What if they finally find out I'm a fraud?
A tiny little dragon demon is Resistance.
On my shoulder.
Breathing into my ear, that fear, that Resistance to doing anything that might change who I am, or what I do, or how I fit into the groups I fit into.
""People prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty"
- Virginia Satir"
- Nic Peterson
Perhaps that is one of the most powerful levers that Resistance has to pull.
It can convince us to stay in a position of misery rather than step forward into uncertainty. And make no mistake, as a writer, every time I put new words on a page, I step forward into uncertainty.
I often have no idea what is going to happen as I put the words down. I simply follow the stream, I find other little streams, they combine into a river, and I follow the river, and that river carves out a canyon and creates waterfalls, and, if I am fortunate to keep going, if I don't succumb to Resistance, I find myself with an entire ecosystem thriving off the river
But only if I overcome that Resistance to begin with.
And only if I keep overcoming that Resistance.
Because every time I do something new, Resistance shows back up. In a different form. Every word I write, every line I write, it sets me down the path of the stream, but whenever I might encounter another stream, Resistance shows up at the bend, at the fork.
It says ... maybe that's enough.
It says ... are you sure you want to continue?
But oftentimes, it doesn't say a damn thing, you don't even know it's there, but it is enacting a powerful force against us, to keep us from moving, without us even realizing it.
Our path and our experience here in The Guardian Academy is largely in opposition to what many people out in the world will tell you in terms of getting what you want in life.
As opposed to the "go go go hustle and grind" culture, and the "pick a goal and be ruthless in heading straight for it" and all the dynamics which drive people to seek shortcuts, to have everything they want NOW ...
We say,
Slow down3.
Forget the peak you're headed toward, look at your feet. Look at that mud you're walking through. See the flowers growing out of it. See the path right in front of you. The roots of the trees you walk on or around. The cleaner dryer, yet perhaps more hidden path that is right next to where you're walking.
Presence in the moment.
And one of the benefits of slowing down, of paying attention to the next steps that you take, of focusing on growing the garden of you rather than growing the tallest trees ...
Is that when Resistance does show up, you aren't moving so fast that you can't see it.
When you're sprinting to the finish line, when you're head down driving towards your goal, Resistance will show up, holding a hand out against you while you run in place.
And you won't see it.
How many times have you found yourself in life pushing pushing and pushing, only to discover that in fact you are just running REALLY hard in one place?
Like you're Donald Duck trying to sprint forward with all your might, head down, and it turns out Bugs Bunny is just standing there with a finger on your head keeping you from moving forward.
Maybe,
Just maybe ...
Slowing down gives you not just the opportunity to appreciate yourself in the present moment, to really see and appreciate life around you,
But also gives you the opportunity to SEE and confront and manage and work past RESISTANCE in a meaningful, powerful way.
The Traveler and Resistance
I see a traveler on a path, walking stick in a hand, lightly traveled wooded path beneath his feet.
He comes to a fork in the path.
And though he's ultimately headed towards a peak in the distance, he's fully enjoying the woods he is sauntering through. Because of this, when he reaches that fork, he notices a hooded cloaked figure, sitting on a stump.
He regards the figure briefly, and moves to step past the figure.
But the figure holds out a dark void of a hand,
And the traveler feels compelled to not move.
But the traveler sees what is happening. He steps back a few paces, finds a stump of his own, and sits down. He looks at Resistance calmly. He speaks - "I know you old friend. I'm going to keep going this way. I'll see you another time."
And the figure hooded and cloaked, vanishes into the shadows.
The traveler slowly gets up, and keeps walking.
Perhaps Resistance is ultimately death. One day we will all accept the hand of this force and move on into whatever the great beyond may be past the reality we know.
But as long as you live, Resistance will continue to show up. Resistance will hold you back, not because it is inherently bad, but because within each of us is the inbuilt natural desire to avoid change. To avoid anything that might possibly harm us.
It's a seemingly terrible irony because little is as harmful as avoiding change, which is itself inevitable with the passage of time.
Yet perhaps the real truth of Resistance,
Is that it is only a problem if we are rushing through life. If we are not giving credence and value to the next best step4. If we are not living in and appreciating the Present moment of every day, of every time we sit down to create and do something new.
Resistance as a Writer
As a writer, I have tackled resistance in many ways over the years.
The first most notably identifiable form of resistance for me was "writers block." I have a blank page, I need to write something, what do I write!
My original methods for dealing with this included "do more research" and "incorporate ritual."
Those are both still useful. It is easier to just sit down and write if I know exactly what I am going to write. But that is often not the case, research or no. More on that in a sec.
Ritual is still also something that is quite useful.
It is powerful to have a set of things you do before a specific activity. It kind of trains your mind and your body to be ready to do an activity and then in that state increases the likelihood of execution.
For writing, for me, that largely involves coffee. In the winter months, I typically pick out a sweater I like to write in as well. So my mornings can be chaotic, but once I put on the sweater, pour the coffee, and sit down to write, it's game on.
Resistance also shows up as fear and uncertainty. Not know what to write. Wanting to write about a particular thing, but not being sure I'm going to do it well.
These things I still struggle with.
Slowing down and moving through them deliberately and intentionally has proven useful.
And last year I added a new Resistance-managing method to my madness.
When I started writing for The Guardian Academy, Nic came to me with the open ended proposition of "write whatever you feel like writing."
I embraced that fully.
In the beginning I started off by creating a dozen different documents with random notes for different ideas.
And then when I sat down to write I would just write whatever felt most interesting or exciting or intriguing in the moment from that list.
But I felt another pull. And instead of ignoring it this time, I decided to embrace it.
Instead of just "writing whatever I felt like" in the context of TGA, I decided to write whatever I felt like in general throughout my entire life.
At the time, I was getting obsessed with this new Dungeons and Dragons game I was designing. Sometimes when I sat down to write about Raising the Floor (for example), I much rather wanted to write more about "Elianor Sunshard" - the Gandalf to my player characters - and figure out his history in the world I was designing.
Now,
In the past I can see this phenomenon. Where I had one thing to write about, and where I'd much rather be writing something else.
And I always redirected myself back to the thing I was "supposed" to write, because that's where I was going to get paid.
But this time,
I said "hell with it, I'm gonna write what I want."
And I discovered as I wrote about Sunshard in the land of Galdria, multitudes of connections and ideas for things I was writing about in TGA, and in my own work, would sprout out of the fictitious writing.
Something about uncorking the passion of putting words on the page led to a greater ability to just write in every sphere.
I still sometimes struggle with this.
Because I have limited time. I have deadlines. I have things I need to create. And I also have things I want to create.
So I slow down.
I get myself into the present moment.
And I try to tap into the ideas I really want to be writing about, to let myself write those ideas and to explore the depths of the tapestry of my imagination.
Because ultimately I can't keep separate my writing for The Guardian Academy, and my writing for The world of Galdria, and my writing for my own list, and my writing I do for my clients, and my writing for this new fantasy/scifi story I have going.
That's ALL within me.
And it's all woven together and feeds and learns and grows together.
The garden of me as a writer has all of these different plants growing and their roots mingle and feed the soil in their own unique ways.
Tending to the TGA plant in my garden might mean seeing to the health and well being of the D&D world plant.
And this is the conquering of Resistance.
Because if I can just write whatever I want whenever I want, then when I sit down to write an article for TGA during the week, if Resistance is waiting there to stop me ... I can just walk down a different path, and whatever I write on that path will bring me back where I need to end up this week.
Resistance still shows up. I still must be present and see Resistance. But the path around and through this force is not through struggle,
But through letting go.
Letting go of the need to do what I think I should do. And rather embracing what my intuition and desire and passion says to do, allowing myself to trust that I'll find the way.
What does resistance look like for you?
Resistance isn't the exclusive experience of writers and creatives.
Resistance is there for everyone whenever we have a choice to make in life. Whenever the path we walk presents a fork in the road, especially if the alternate route is significantly different than what we're used to.
The only way I know to fully see your own Resistance is To Slow Down.
To me it is almost a fascinating coincidence that pretty much every TGA principle we live by works well to help you see and move past Resistance.
It's not a coincidence.
Slowing down, being in the present moment, raising the floor5, figuring out your solvable problem6 and then just tending to the next best step ...
These all lead you towards intent in the present moment. They lead you towards greater self awareness.
There's no better way to see, confront, and move past Resistance, than to just stop in the middle of the forks in your roads ...
And say hello.
Hello there my friend. I'm trying to write this article, about YOU actually, and you're showing up quite nicely in the middle of it. Probably because I fear the vulnerability and value of what I'm saying.
But I can see you. And I can acknowledge you. And I can say ... not this time. But I'll see you again in the future no doubt.
Here's the thing,
YOUR Resistance will show up for you uniquely.
Wherever you have a crossroads. A fork in the road. A new untested path. A new thing you are creating. A new idea you want to try. Any change. Any moment where you might seemingly step further away from where you are now.
If you've been in TGA long you may know the dynamic that happens when you start to change and drift away from others.
Or at least, when they perceive that you do.
They tend to try to claw you back to where they are. Because when you change, even if you are changing for all the better, becoming more YOU, it can often feel like you are moving away from them.
(You can read further about this dynamic in "The Confrontation"7)
Resistance is like the inner force that makes you battle against yourself in the same way.
It's the thing that makes you choose the certainty of misery.
It's the thing that keeps you from writing and publishing.
The thing that stops you from creating that video.
It shows up everywhere.
In relationships. In wealth. In business. In health.
And how can you possibly see it ...
If you don't slow down?
If you don't allow yourself to enjoy being bored, sitting there at the crossroads looking into the face of Resistance until you so deeply understand yourself that feeling of hesitation, that feeling of fear just slips away .. and leaves you feeling eerily powerful.
What's the worst thing that could happen if you walk past Resistance?
Total, complete disastrous failure ... but if it doesn't kill you, you're still playing the infinite game.
What's the worst thing that WILL happen if you let Resistance keep you in place?
Nothing.
And nothing is perhaps the worst thing in life. Because nothing is not living. Nothing is not even playing the game at all.
It's stagnation.
It's atrophy.
The certainty of misery.
You want to discover and move past your Resistance?
Stop finding uncertainty miserable, and perhaps instead ... find it joyous.
Be Useful. Be Present. Love the Journey.
Joseph Robertson, CMO The Guardian Academy
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Absolute banger!