What does "work" mean to you?
Level 9: Noodle Bending Time
"OH right ... you've got to go do boring adult stuff." - My son (10)
Future Guardian,
A funny thing happened to me not long ago, on a sunny still-somewhat-summer afternoon,
Talking with my son.
It was before school had started up again, so the kids were at home and of course I still had to work.
My son stops me in the hall as I'm pacing thinking through a problem ... He wants me to come play this video game with him.
I tell him it will have to be later because ...
.... aaand he finished that line above, with the boring adult stuff.
The kids have a clear overt aversion to work.
I mean,
Who doesn't as a kid, right?
I then briefly watch him go sit down, and pull up youtube videos about the game so that he can study how to play the game best.
I thought ... sounds to me like work.
And it's funny seeing the kids relationship with the idea. When presented with the word "work" or the idea that they have to go to work or do work ... they'll wildly retract.
"Oh no anything but that!"
Yet,
Then we'll watch them put themselves to a VERY high degree of task on the things they are passionate about.
Music. Gymnastics. Taekwondo.
They WORK.
They just ... don't think it's work.
Sure you could argue “hey, that’s just the work they want to be doing.” But I think there’s something more useful to understand here.
The work they see me do, to them that is "boring adult stuff."
Of course as a writer, not infrequently my "work" is going for a walk, lying down for a rest, or doing some menial physical labor because I've found the value in stretching my physical and mental spaces into something completely different.
Every now and then I'm caught lying down with my eyes closed.
"What are you doing?"
"Work."
"uhhhhhh....right ....." (and then they back away, unsure how to approach that)
I think that's one of the small reasons I enjoyed Mad Men so much (and have pulled on it recently for my writing), the whole "creatives are best creative when they can do nothing." But that's kind of a different subject (also I don't drink constantly so maybe relating to Don Draper is a poor connection).
These experiences though,
They have me just swirling my thoughts around the idea of work itself.
What IS it?
Why does it seem to conjure up images of reluctant labor, of *doing* the things regardless of whether a thing should be done, of commitment, of action, but also of restriction, of all these things that seem to be in different ways loosely or obviously tied to the word?
And why do I like work now?
What changed for me? Why does it have completely different meaning than it used to?
And is any of this actually important or is it all just semantics?
What does it mean precious?
To help me figure this out, I'm going to bring in my good friend Steve the Caterpillar.
POOF
A little green caterpillar with a strangely human face appears next to me.
Hey Steve. You're acting as a literary device here for me to unpack some ideas about what 'work' means, and also to make the writing and conversation more fun.
"Uh. Ok sure. But ... I have one question"
What is it?
"Why did you make me a CATERPILLAR?"
I glance down at 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' book at my feet and shrug - uhh ... no reason, no reason at all!!
His eyes narrow. "Fine. Where do we begin?"
Well, my thoughts here are swirling, perhaps uncontrollably, around this idea of what work is and what it means ... but ultimately the idea of "work" seems laden with this negative connotation.
Steve furrows his caterpillar brow (don't ask me how a caterpillar has brows) -
"So, it seems like we need to unpack what appears to be negative about the idea of work. Where are you hoping to go with this?"
Ok let’s try that.
Work has different meaning to different people.
At times in my life, what I've thought of "work" has been a dreaded drudgery and at other times it has been an exciting moment for me to "go to work." I want to understand how to intentionally shift perspective on the idea of work, because I do believe no matter what we all must *do the work* - whatever that means.
So we might as well figure out what it means to enjoy work.
Steve nods, thumbing his chin (don't ask me how a caterpillar has fingers) -
"How about you start with what work means in the most common sense? How our society and culture views work and how most people see the idea of work."
Right,
Easy …
"Work"conjures up a sense of "the thing that I have to do to make money."
This makes sense.
Unless you are born with all the resources you could ever need in life handed to you on a platter, you have to acquire those resources to live and grow. Because this is about doing the actions and activities necessary to serve a need which can't be avoided, I think many people end up "doing work" when they'd rather be doing anything else.
But let's make this simpler, and recognize that myself writing this, and those reading this, are in a privileged place in the world where, though we still need to do the work to meet our needs and get what we want in life, we are fortunate to actually have a lot of flexibility and support in what kind of work we chose to do and how that path pans out.
Then we can run through the whole "work-life balance" conversation. Where many people recognize that the work they do is just the work that needs to be done to make their life possible, so they make choices to separate life and work. This intermingles with the people who chose their work as their life.
Steve interjects - "So it's not about work, it's about balance?"
No.
I think balance is something different and a completely personal perspective on how life feels, feeding more into what you say you want in life and what you actually do. We consider this in DALA1 - does what you say you're going to do and what you do align? If you say you want to spend more time with your kids but you take extra shifts at work, that's a misalignment, and I'd wager more where the idea of "balance" comes into play.
But that's not what I'm interested in here.
"Perhaps it's a perspective on the meaning of work then?" Steve muses
I do think perspective plays a role.
How we see the meaning of the work we do for ourselves. After all, it's easy to see how work which is in alignment with what I really want to be doing in life is satisfying and enjoyable to approach. But I've also had times in life where I was doing work I didn't want to be doing, and yet I found the work equally satisfying and enjoyable to approach.
And I think there must be something more to the role of "work."
Steve starts pacing in thought (don't ask me how a caterpillar paces). "I am wondering if finding work that aligns with your calling is the answer to satisfying work?"
This is where the differing perspective I'm seeing in "work" really starts to emerge for me. Because I have deeply thought about the idea of a calling, and the idea of living life to my full potential. In every scenario there is work involved.
In my exploration of The Call, I even said “work is just doing.”
So it makes sense on the surface to move forward looking for work which is my calling. Because then I'll be doing the thing which is most in alignment with my inner self and giving me the best opportunity to have my full potential emerge.
Or so it would seem.
"What's the problem with that?" Steve asks.
The problem is that what you do is a FORM.
Work is a form.
And a calling ... I have realized ... is a gravitational force towards serving a function.
If I focus on finding work, that may be a version of focusing on form over function. And the problem, as we have discovered, in focusing on form over function is that we easily narrow our vision, lose sight of reality, lose sight of the path we are walking on, because we think the thing we are doing - the form - is the answer.
But it's not.
The form only ever serves to illuminate the answer. And so when we focus on the illumination we find different more suitable more efficient forms to serve that illumination.
Steve looks at me concerned - "I think we need to pull apart whatever the heck is going on in your head to make this clearer."
Fair.
"Why don't you start by illustrating your relationship with the idea of work, maybe we can unpack it all through there."
Very well.
What "Work" has meant to me ...
It seems like ages ago that I graduated college and "entered the workforce." My excitement about it was really just about stepping out into the world on my own. I didn't have a particular job or career that really called to me. I wasn't excited about the work itself.
I took what I could find and in the early days that was customer service at Nintendo. I remember drudging through my days at a tiny desk, bored, wishing I was somewhere else, wishing I could do more be more. I look back now and in some ways I miss the simplicity of the labor, the technicality ... I could have been more present with it, while still moving forward. But I didn't know how.
Because I wasn't doing what I wanted, I lived in my mind in the future imagined.
"Perhaps presence is a key to enjoying work" Steve muses.
I agree that's an important awareness to have.
I spent my days pondering the idea and purpose of "work" and how I could live a life of meaning if the thing I spent the majority of my time doing had no meaning to me. What kept showing up in my thoughts was how I spent my time.
Spending MY time doing something that had no meaning to me seemed like the fast track to living a life of no meaning. And I wanted meaning. I wanted to feel fulfilled. I wanted to feel like when I put my work out into the world I was making a difference (whatever that meant). I was chasing an ephemeral sense of longing and need for something greater, and at the heart of the problem I was seeing was where I spent my time.
"Perhaps this is where many people's discontent with work is. That they are doing something of little meaning and long to be doing something of actual meaning to themselves, but can't figure out what that meaning is or how to get there." Steve suggests …
You're pretty wise for a caterpillar.
Steve narrows his eyes - "Are you sassing me?"
I'll just continue.
I think there's a root of truth and understanding here - because what I've observed since then is it's not whether or not the work IS meaningful, but more how it serves the greater meaning of your life. Which is why for many people I think they can find satisfaction in doing work that has little connection to the rest of their life.
But,
I was never satisfied by that.
I felt like there was more.
Even after I "escaped" the 9-5 and started working for myself, it all still felt like "work." It was easier. I had obligation to myself and I didn't want to fail my own vision and my own time. I was also working on things which I had passion around, so that made it easier to get up and do stuff most days.
Yet, if you read The Path to Playing Your Own Game2 … you may recall that I didn't enjoy writing. An odd dynamic for someone who spent his days writing and publishing a magazine and running a business through email.
"Work" was still "work," even though all the time was mine and all the vision was mine, I was still fighting something. I was still trapped. I was still pushing and chasing the same sense of longing and need. I wrote about this in my capstone on Slowing Down and Restraint3 when I realized throughout this time I wasn't running toward something, I was running away from something else (that focus of movement being key).
And in all that time lacking the ability to be self-aware of my own present.
It's only in this present self awareness, when I slowed down, when I figured out what I really want and how to intentionally build my life to get me there, did I finally realize the role "work" really serves in a life of purpose, meaning, calling, and full potential.
Now "work" is an opportunity. It's an opportunity to physically manifest who I am in a way which gets me what I want in life.
That's what it looks like on the surface.
But it's deeper, more complex.
Because I need "work." I need "work" because a part of discovering who I am, playing my own game, getting closer to the things I want in life is doing the work.
In my writing, as I have more fully discovered it recently, the power of putting words on the page is not the creation of the words or the thing I'm creating it's the emergence of the ideas, and the communication of the ideas that exist in ephemeral form in my mind in a way which allows me to share, to help, to guide, to impact.
Emergence is a property that occurs in a system of process. Writing is a process for me. It's a process of thinking. It's a process of putting words onto the page so that my own mind can see itself reflected back like A Mirror4. And in that reflection I discover what I'm really thinking. What that deep vivid rich decadent mishmash of thoughts and feelings is conveying to myself on a subconscious level.
So writing is a system in which my thoughts and ideas emerge.
And "work" is a system in which the best things I can do in life to fulfill all my needs and desires, emerges.
When I sit down to "work" there is yes still a need to pay the bills, keep a roof over my family's head, stomachs full, kids healthy.
But the more I welcome and embrace "work" as an act of fulfilling core parts of my own being, the more gleefully I can sit down and do it every day, the more valuable and insightful the outcome of that process becomes, the better everything is.
"Work" is not a dirty word. It's a magical word when you pair it with embracing who you are, and taking the next best step5 to get closer to the life you want, because in that process "work" also acts as a physical anchor to be most present and aware of your immediate step, where you are right now, what you are doing, who you are, and how it all fits together.
Steve jumps in - "Ok so, you've realized the integral power of "work" in being able to become who you best are in the world - which sounds a lot like work is unlocking your potential. But I sense there's something else to it here. How do we make this useful to anyone else?"
Yes let's do that.
What is YOUR "Work" dear reader?
Here's what it comes down to I think.
When you embrace who you are and start playing your own game, "work" can be something far more valuable, important, and empowering than what the word implies. To me, when you are able to access that part of yourself and play your own game, work stops becoming what you do, and instead becomes a part of the physical manifestation of who you are.
But there's a practical way to look at this.
Recall earlier I mentioned how "work" is what you do - it's a form. The form serves to illuminate the function of your life. For me the work certainly does that.
But I've been blessed to land in a place where the work I'm doing IS what I want to be doing. There's a high level of alignment. You could argue it's calling. You could argue it's satisfying because I'm able to live a life of emerging potential because of the work.
Steve nods, "Those points seem true and good."
Yes,
BUT
There are times where I do work which I would rather not be doing, and yet I still have the same joy in doing the work. There have been times in the past where that's the case, and times now.
And there have been times where I have done the thing I'm doing now, yet have NOT had the joy in doing the work.
Why do you think that is Steve?
He looks at me perplexed "How am I supposed to answer that question? I'm just a caterpillar." (And then suddenly vanishes the same way he appeared.)
The answer has all the elements in it we've talked about. It has presence. It has living a life of meaning and getting what you want. It has potential.
Recall that ...
Making the life you desire, with intention, a life of meaning, purpose, potential and fulfillment ... this requires you to know what you want and to know who you are.
If you don't know those things, then you have to move forward to uncover those meanings. To strip away all that you are not to discover who you are and what really matters to you.
And if you do know those things, then fulfilling on those things also requires moving forward.
Because life is movement.
Life is a journey on a path which we hope to walk as much, as fully, and as richly as we can.
And you know what makes that movement?
The work.
Whether you are doing something you want to be doing, or something you wouldn't chose if you had another option.
The work is necessary.
It's necessary on a fundamental needs level because we have to work to be able to live. But I think it's also necessary on a fundamental human level. Because this is how our lives unfold.
Through the work.
And I believe that the key to being satisfied and looking forward to the work no matter how that work looks ...
Is fully believing that the steps you take in that work are moving you forward. The work, in whatever form it is creates emergence of the next best step. It serves as the thing necessary to identify and clear the most immediate constraints.
Its what you need to do to go through the learning process of Engaging the Field6.
It's the steps you take on the path of life.
And I think, even if it itself does not appear to be the thing you want to be doing,
IF you understand that what you are doing is taking you step by step in the direction you ultimately want to be going, you can find that satisfaction in the present.
But dear reader,
After writing through all that, and trying to unpack the sense of friction and energy that seems to shift around the concept of work which we must all do ...
I have to be truthful in pointing out that I cannot reconcile the fact that I AM doing everything I want to be doing in life now. I have that ultimate privilege and opportunity in front of me, which I have found and created through the work.
It's easier said than done when the work brings me that satisfaction of fulfillment and momentum in life.
I can see it clearer than ever.
And it's only looking back at the times in my life when I was doing the same things and NOT feeling that fulfillment, that I recognize what was missing was both the understanding of who I really am and what I really wanted, and how to move forward to get there, which could have uncovered the satisfaction and joy of the work I was doing right in front of me at the time.
Now I wonder,
What is the work which leads YOU forward?
What are you trying to illuminate in the truth of who you are and what you want in life, and how can your work serve that purpose - whether directly or indirectly?
Perhaps there's some deeper truth and joy in your life to be found there.
Or maybe I'm just a strange person having an imaginary conversation with a caterpillar on the internet :)
Be Useful. Be Present. Love the Journey.
, CMO The Guardian Academy
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I guess I didn’t sign in correctly, but I really appreciate this article. It’s very good and the insights are outstanding.