The Certainty Of Misery
Level 1... And that's okay
“Most Prefer The Certainty Of Misery To The Misery Of Uncertainty”
Virginia Satir
Future Guardian,
Virginia Satir once wisely observed that many people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty, often referred to as "the devil you know." This powerful force often holds individuals back from pursuing their true desires in life. Even when people are aware of the choice before them, circumstances can sometimes make it seem impossible to opt for a different path.
Recently had a close friend confided in me about their unhappiness with their career. They played a pivotal role in building up a startup that become profitable. However, as the company continued to grow, disagreements arose among the team, and my friend felt that the company's direction no longer aligned with their values and macro beliefs.1
This sense of dissonance grew steadily over the year as my friend attempted to transition out of the company. They accepted a different role within the company, which came with lower pay, and despite an initial agreement for reduced workload, the same responsibilities piled up.
As Dave Chappelle humorously puts it, "Gotcha *****."
Instead of exploring other revenue-generating opportunities, they found themselves stuck in the middle of the barbell2.
Trapped
My friend was well aware of Virginia Satir's quote, and mentioned it to me several times, yet they still chose to remain in their current situation. This made me wonder: Why?
They had a family to support and no financial safety net to pursue other options.
A fair point.
How long can one endure such a situation? Working at a job that lacks fulfillment and may even be morally demoralizing.
For some, a lifetime, leading to regrets on their deathbed.
So, what can be done?
“Well, it depends.”
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.3
Every situation is unique, and there are no one-size-fits-all solutions, but there are some questions that you keep an open loop4 on:
Recognition of Unhappiness: The first step is to recognize if you are unhappy in your current situation. Are you choosing the certainty of misery? If so, and IF you desire a change, are your actions aligned with becoming a happier person? If they are not aligned, what is the next best step given the information I have? 5
The Finances
Some of you as you explore those open loops may find yourselves in a situation similar to my friend's, with a recognition of their misery but seemingly constrained by financial burdens. In such cases, a philosophical perspective may require some tactical support.
If you're facing financial constraints here is a starting point*.
Getting clear on the problem you are solving6. The Google maps analogy has been used countless times, but it honestly works so well. If you don’t even know where you are starting from and you have no idea where you are trying to go, how can you ever come up with a clear pathway?
Recapture and Reallocate7 your resources:
Basic Recapture and Reallocate - Don’t be fooled by the term basic recapture. I have met people who often tell me they are limited financially to start anything but spend monthly on subscriptions that are hardly ever used or purchase collectibles in the hope of selling them for returns.
If this is what makes you happy then by all means. But if it impacts your ability to potentially lead you to a path that will get you out of your current state then in my opinion you need some DALA8 in your life.
Philosophy, Principles, and Uncertainty
As explained in the Tools and Diffusion post, the Guardian Academy is principles-based. When learning principles, it can be difficult to quickly understand how to apply them directly to the problem you are trying to solve.
Fortunately, Guardians, partners and collaborators are always applying the principles, reinventing the standard and sharing it with others.
To be more helpful to you, future Guardian, we have reached out to some of our extraordinary Guardians and asked them to share the strategies, tactics and tools of their industry with readers.
We’re going to start with two new sub-sections of this publication:
Health and Fitness because it’s our first commandment.9
Marketing and Advertising because it will help our core demographic increase their income. True to TGA principles (raise the floor, recapture and reallocate) the increase in income will likely come from ceasing the things that are not working and reallocating the resources to strategies with higher efficacy.
These are also the two areas the team has the most experience and expertise in - so we can contribute and filter when appropriate.
You’ll have to subscribe to each one separately. This way, you’re not getting notified about things that are unimportant, uninteresting or irrelevant to you at this time.
Health and Fitness Section Is Here
Marketing and Sales section Is Here
We will add more sections over time if they prove to be useful to readers.
*Founders for February, as apart of their monthly free10 premium course, masterclass or resource will be getting access to the Allegiance Accelerator 2.0 as well as invited to our monthly workshop on communication and learning. Without the ability to build trust and or communicate with your customers, getting them to purchase anything is going to be an uphill battle.
Guardians, will have access to all of the premium resources and support available.